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Yes you read it right, Global Warning! This is what i think everytime i see or hear that dreaded phrase "Global Warming". It's interesting to me that the 2 sentences are so similar with only 1 character apart on a keyboard, it makes you think that it was a clerical typo in Whitehall. The civil servants first laughed when they saw the memo with the title incorrectly spelt, but then narrowed their eyes with glee at the advantages of using the typo for all the political capital that can be mustered.

As you have probably gathered now, i am not one for towing the green line. This has nothing to do with being a world-hater or a lover of a greed, progress, power and money. The whole debate has gone out of the window and has become a silly farce. The real issue is the crumbling energy resources that the world may face if it just carries on as has been doing during post-war years. The whole global warming scam is a way of trying to induce a psychological guilt everytime you switch on a light bulb or turn the key in your Chelsea tractor.

Perhaps, if the oil companies announced they were running out of oil, that would create a global panic of buying oil, creating an uncontrollable series of price rises. The world may end up in anarchy with such a situation occuring. Maybe the whole global warning...i mean global warming scheme, is a clever substitute for the doomed to swallow. Instead of panic buying, we try to encourage not using energy at all and the blessed bus-passengers shall rise to heaven, whilst hell and damnation awaits the Sports Utility Vehicle Driver.

Science has shown us that global warming and global cooling has been going on since the planet was formed. The last 50 million years has shown, that we are living in an Interglacial period of time. The ice waxes and wanes depending on mostly astronomic deviations. The Earth's orbit around the sun can alter if something massive passes close by our solar system. The power of the sun is probably the main reason why we have changes in temperature on a global scale. Most people don't realise that it was actually warmer in our medieval times that it is today. During the 1200's it was considerably warmer than it is now. It was written during those times that the sun appeared brighter in the sky than it was before.

I am left astounded by anyone who thinks they are "saving the planet". The constant barrage of bullshit about carbon footprints and greenhouse gases, annoys me. When you fly at 38000 feet over oceans and continents you realise that the Earth is quite a massive place and we are just microscopic in terrestrial terms. You can fly for hours and see absolutly no sign of civilisation for thousands of miles. Suddenly "Carbon" has become a dirty word, where governments are more inclined to install nuclear power stations that produce lethal waste that remains a killer for 250,000 years, because it saves the planet. How mad is this? ... carbon is natural and is part of the Earths cycle, it is part of every living plant and animal on the planet. You can't say the same about Plutonium.

My Global Warning is quite the opposite of what your tv or newspaper tells you. We live in the Holocene period, a brief warm period in between 2 ice ages. Experts do not expect the Holocene to continue much past another 2-3 thousand years, maybe considerably less. You can expect an ice age to last as long as 50,000 years and as a nation or species we have no answer nor any solution that tackles an ice age. I can guarantee that an ice age is going to be way more catastrophic to the human world than any global warming. Britain won't even exist anymore, neither will most of Europe, Canada, Russia and the vast majority of the USA. There is no way the Earth could support a multi-billion human population anymore. Growing food will be the single most important thing to any surviving people and we would face losing the knowledge and the technology that we have accumulated from the previous 10 thousand years.

Next time someone tries to convince you to lower your carbon footprint, just tell them your carbon footprint is just fine and is going to be buried under a mile of ice some day soon, just like theirs.